so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
