we have officially lost it.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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