Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize