but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
