Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize