We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
