im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
