on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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