hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
