Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize