Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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