The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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