Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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