I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
