were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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