I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
