Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
