I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
