It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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