I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
