I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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