i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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