They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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