I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
