I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
