Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
