Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
