its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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