There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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