you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
