so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize