where does the pee come out of this thing
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
