you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i came on her dog
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
