I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
