u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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