I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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