If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
