Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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