As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i think my cat just said my name.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
