Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
