you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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