Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
