the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
