I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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