What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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