did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
