It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
