i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
