is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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