she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
