I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
