i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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