At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
