I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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