OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
