And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
