like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize