You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think I sprained my soul last night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
