just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize