What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
