But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
