Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
