i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
